What is True Love? (2) – How its flame blowed away

How true love faded away

As I shared in the last post, how it took years for me to discerningly comprehend that the exact cause of distress in my life was hauling and hounding a somewhat atypical sort of love for a modern era. Sometimes graciously, sometimes overlooking, sometimes holding back tears, at times shedding tears, I really don’t know but somehow I kept moving holding it together; however as I couldn’t accordingly manage to keep my patience and hope alive, eventually landed up giving up my way of loving.  The critical point was that I couldn’t even manage to keep myself alive. Nevertheless, I never knew I was actually nearing a turning point and hence, by mere serendipity or fate, whatever we call it, God’s love came in and as I bathed in it, everything changed. I felt being completely refreshed and revitalized as if somebody took years off of me. So, I asserted that the purest form of love existing on earth is God’s love.

If we rate love on a scale of 0 to 10 with 0 being no love and 10 being the most positive, we can rate God’s love to be 10. It’s not like that a human is incapable of loving like God as we all have heard that ‘God’  created man in his own image. It’s just that due to not being acquainted with such kind of pure love, most of us don’t even have any clue about its existence. The most unadulterated love we come across in our life is that from our parents; however there too exists risk of contaminants. Apart from that, deep down inside we all know that love we will experience in every other relationship would be with some exchange of expectations. We don’t mind it because this is how we have perceived love.

Indeed, we are so accustomed to adulterated love that it’s difficult for us to discern the real from the unreal love. In fact, unadulterated love is harder to bear for both the receiver and the giver in present times. I have personally experienced that when you care for someone, not necessarily your close blood relative, that person initially seems a bit shocked and surprised. And the third person in close proximity either gets amazed or finds something’s is fishy or assumes that the love and care is just to show off.

In fact, leave the act of offering a helping hand aside, the situation has worsened so much that even smiling and making a subtle eye contact with any stranger crossing the path is enough to blow anyone’s mind. There is a quote “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours”. But I highly doubt if it’s acceptable nowadays, at times I have even seen people getting afraid of that. If you have not done so yet, try to smile at few strangers today and see what happens. Joking apart, we really need to think what we are doing. Is the love for humanity disagreeable? On the top of that, I can say unadulterated love has become presumably indigestible.

As I gave a thoughtful rumination on this issue, I think we all are not wrong, the concern is that nobody taught us ‘what love is’ and ‘what is meant by loving someone’. As a young child, we all were loving, cheerful, carrying a warm energy for everybody. While growing up, we learnt from our family, friends and society ideas such as caring, making efforts, making sacrifices, keeping expectations should be in proportion to the relationship, people of so and so caste are not good, how to treat family, friends and strangers differently, girls are like this, boys are like this, closer the relationship more should be the warmth and love, if somebody loves you he or she is ought to make certain sacrifices for, a wife is ought to behave like this, a husband is ought to behave like this and many more, complete list can stretch on and on.

Recounting a relatable personal anecdote: At about age 10, our neighborhood was close-knit. There lived a nuclear family with two toddlers, a girl of about 2 years and a boy of about 1 year. As playing with small kids is always fun, so I used to spend a fair amount of time with them. Within few days, the small girl and I had a really good bonding, so deeply that she began refusing to consume food in my absence. So, her mom started calling me at time of feeding her. Being a kid I loved playing with her, hence I use to happily go. In a matter of days, other neighbors raised an awkward question to my parents ‘Is your daughter a maid that whenever they call, she runs? Why is she every time there?’ successfully rooting a sense of unpleasantness in them and ending up the considerate act.

Hence, on this note, stating openly and impartially – we are in a way effectively and efficiently brainwashed in the name of customs, traditions and societal conventions from a very early age. Even worse, in the process we are taught not to see and treat a human as a human while injecting the conversation ‘What would people say?’. To neatly encapsulate, I would say we learn Love Conditional with boundaries, both quantitative and qualitative’ by mere observation. Isn’t it?

Then, adding the fuel to the fire pops in the love we grasp from movies and their songs. We learn from them (Isn’t it right to say that we learn? They never teach us) the phrases like ‘my love’, ‘love of my life’, etc.  Don’t you think ‘my love’ is ought to be ‘my way of loving’ rather than personifying a person. I have never read or heard about personal or love life of any actor, but I highly doubt that they practice the kind of love they enact in the movies. If they would, I don’t think they would have been at the place they are as prosperity in life requires peace and stability of mind. And even if you think slightly, with that kind of love practices nobody can survive in the field of acting. Stretching out too much on this would be diverging from the topic. As drawing a line to what all can be learned from them is impossible but still I would like to end by saying: Beware; they even have the power to teach ‘Love with ulterior motives’. The point is they have the power but we have the control.🙂

I wasn’t a movie freak still I used to look forward to few, but after I realized all this, I couldn’t even develop courage to watch a movie teaser. I know I cannot ask you to do so. Can I ?😀

No. ☹

But at least I can make a request: Please, watch them just as a source of entertainment being very detached and cautious to not entangle your emotions, expectations and life with them.

Coming to the point while aptly recalling Mahatma Gandhi’s proverbial principle ‘See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil’ in order to avoid doing evil, I can say: What has happened is that after this persistent unspoken, emotional, subtle love schooling has sneaked into our subconscious, we think we are ‘loving after filtering out’, but with a sane and open-eyed vision we can see that we have actually landed up ‘filtering out love’. Isn’t it?

Source: India7 Network via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Henceforth, this prevailing bankruptcy of ‘true love’ can be considered as the major cause of the widespread unresolved emptiness and chronic illnesses not only in our hearts, minds and homes but also in the world, that we are subconsciously trying to compensate by stuffed wardrobes, larger furniture items, ornated possessions, luxury vacations, wealthier pockets, etc.

But, it’s okay. No worry, what’s happened has happened. Let us not allow our past to ruin our present and future. As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts ‘It is never too late to become your own boss’. The almighty, God, made us so strong and pure to love each and every being on this planet unconditionally; such kind of pure energy exchange was meant to happen in this world. But, now we don’t even have a single human being around loving us unconditionally and even we don’t love anyone unconditionally.

So, let’s do something. Let us trust God’s intention and creation and try to love atleast few unconditionally. What do you think?

Let us heal the world by falling in love with the breathtaking lyrics of the amazing song by Michael Jackson-

“Heal the world
Make it a better place
For you and for me
And the entire human race
There are people dying
If you care enough for the living
Make it a better place
For you and for me..

Heal the world we live in, save it for our children”

Meanwhile, I would come with another thoughtful perspective over this concern soon. Stay tuned!!

Featured image from Pixabay

7 thoughts on “What is True Love? (2) – How its flame blowed away”

  1. Honestly, what you pointed in this blog is correct, but you know it seemed a little biased. I mean, yes finding love around us has become rare, but it’s still there!
    Look around, it’s in strangers who help you going out of their way, it’s in any person not able to help smile back to a cute kid, it’s there in forgiving your friends as you weigh your bond more than your ego.
    Yes love can be spread even farther but for that, shouldnt we focus on what’s already there? 🙂
    As for the conditioning that society has been bringing to the world, I completely agree!
    Thanks for the post!

    1. Hey Avani, I agree that it does exists in ‘acquaintanceship’ and ‘friendship’, although not always but still. And that is what I meant to point by the term ‘unadulterated love’. And I am really thankful to God for that,it does exists somewhere.🙂
      The reason being that terminology such as acquaintanceship and friendship by themselves denote that you and me are two separate individuals with different set of attitude, upbringing, priorities, traits, mindset, etc. and we are to respect each others individuality, which allows the love to flow freely and generously. Also, in that case,you are close to me emotionally but still you are on the periphery of my life, as your moves don’t affect my life, though at times they do affect my emotions but not my life. But the issue comes when you and me start sharing the same space, when you enter the core of my life; when your every move has the power to shape my life, at that time the flow of love is obstructed due the way we have been trained as I pointed in the post and then we start controlling each other without being aware.
      So, we really need to refocus on the kind of love we share in our every other relationships also, they being significant and dominating as well.
      Thanks for reading, commenting and understanding what I meant to convey.🙂

      Lots of love and wishes,

    1. Hey Neha…thanks for reading and acknowledging. It’s so good to hear from you after so long. Hope you are doing fine.
      And I am so thankful for your benevolent wish..it holds a lot of meaning to me.🙂

      Lots of love and wishes,

    1. Thank you. It’s indeed a pleasure. It’s all with God’s help🙂
      Thanks for reading and leaving an openhearted comment.

      Best Regards,

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