True Love is when I set you free,
To be the person you want to be.
I don’t question what you do,
As I trust your intentions more than you.
It is when I want you to fly,
My not having the wings doesn’t make me cry.
Understanding that you have lots of expectations to fulfill,
I set you free from at least mine.
It doesn’t need words to put on,
As has nothing to prove, nothing to defend, nothing to hold on,
Just gives the eternal power and virtues to move on.
It exists beyond this body,
Beyond this mind,
Beyond this silver line,
As it can only be felt from the Divine.
True Love is God’s love !!
So, for the sake of the love I have for the almighty, the one above all, and the love I hold for all my soul brothers and sisters, I decided to open my heart on this New Year’s Eve.
I regret using ‘True’ as a prefix. But as every other human value namely peace, kindness, honesty, respect, etc. has lost its essence in this modern cyber era, so has the most beautiful feeling called Love. As humanity lost its sense of values, love that was meant to bond us all in one human family became a medium of division in society. And it really breaks my heart when I think about how ruthlessly we are misusing the value ‘love’ ignoring the fact that we will have to pay for it.
So what is love to me?
Since childhood, I don’t know why and how but love to me was sharing, love to me was caring, love to me was trust, love to me was happiness, love to me was responsibility, love to me was understanding, love to me was speaking my heart, love to me was righteousness, love to me was freedom, above all, love to me was peace. I don’t think I was that much mature to understand love and all. Still, when I use to feel I love someone, it meant I cared for them, I wished for their happiness, I wished the best things in life for them, I looked forward to understand them, I wanted them to be on a righteous path, I wished to help them. Just with this pure intention I always felt God wants us to love everybody, may be even a stranger on street with a pure feeling of brotherhood. So, I always spoke to every person, young or old, with a smile on my face and pure love and happiness in my heart. At times I have been misunderstood for that. Never mind, most of the times I feel I’ve been truly blessed for that.
As I entered adolescence in the midst of the cultural, social and religious shift, I heard the phrase ‘first crush’. I can recall the day when I was sitting with my girlfriends on the school’s playground and everyone was opening up about their crush. And when they turned to me, I was like ‘Please, I am not interested, keep me away from this’. They were like ‘Are you serious? You don’t like anyone.’ I said ‘Yes, I am serious’. Believe me I was, I never ever liked to comment on any one’s looks, as I always felt all is God-given. Everybody is beautiful the way they are. In few more trials to open me up, they gave up considering me as an alien adolescent and stopped conversing about this kind of stuff in front of me. And I was all safe and sound.
Then as time passed by and I reached an age of 16 or so, I started hearing about people falling in love with each other, having love affairs followed by making commitments for life. I used to see those exchanging presents, going out together, sometimes chattering too happily sometimes too sadly, we all know about the period of possessiveness, insecurities and expectations that every relations goes through initially. Thus, sometimes getting annoyed with each other, then sometimes breaking up and then patching up and so on. Observing all this, I used to think ‘Is this the thing called Love? Is it for this that people make commitments?’, considering them too brave. To be very honest, more than the pain and tears of sorrow I saw over their face, I was more concerned about their night’s sleep. When I heard about them talking all night, I was like ‘Oh man, such a big sacrifice’. As for me staying awake late at night, has always been not less than fighting a war. Also I questioned ‘Do I even have or would I ever have an understanding to decide a life-partner for me on my own?’ Making and matching a list of expectations to seek a person whom I will claim to love and live for, seemed immoral to me. So my mind always echoed ‘These Love and Commitment are far beyond your capabilities. You stay away from all this. Don’t even try to understand them’. And so I completely involved myself in studies. Also, I made up my mind to commit once and for all if ever; I wasn’t even sure but I knew I had to get married.
Later as I entered college, I luckily managed to get a group of friends who soon understood that all these talks were beyond my level of understanding. Though at times they considered me emotionally insensitive, but the love and laughter we shared effortlessly nullified the weirdness I carried; as I always took care to never disregard anyone while they share their feelings for anybody. Yet, I often wondered why most of the people are ready to mingle. Nevertheless, now I have a reasonable answer to share with you and what role can God’s love play in all this. I will share it later sometime.
Soon after I completed my education I got married. I wasn’t expecting any kind of ups and downs in a committed relationship like marriage; however as any other committed relationship, our relationship also went through its own set of highs and lows that soon vanished with time. Even though we shared a beautiful and strong bonding and understanding still sometimes due to immature talks, differences of opinions and subtle exchange of expectations followed by ego clashes, silly quarrels landed up ruining each other’s day; hence there came patches of darkness. We never took them lightly or avoided them yet overall our relationship was missing the element of peace that I was looking for. Hence, I can say that my fears related to love and commitment came true. This was the case when I was cautious about entering the relationship with minimal expectations but still I don’t know from where the expectations were popping up all the time. I have an answer for that now. But I am not sure, how do people handle when they go for a relationship with a predefined set of expectations. With God’s grace and his love, all is well now. I wish I earlier knew what makes love life complicated. No worries, I would be equally happy to help you save some good time.
On the whole, even after experiencing almost all relationships of a person’s life still my thirst for the pure kind of love was not quenched. To be more precise I wasn’t able to digest the concepts that were being practiced in the name of love and relationships not only in the society but also at my home and by me as well, ranging from exchange of presents to exchange of expectations to exchange of insecurities to hiding of each other mistakes to attachment including manipulation, governance, lust and more. So overall I can say true love to me became non-existent. Looking above I often questioned ‘Does God even have any inkling about what is going on this earth? Please somebody do something.’ Later, pondering that does the love I dreamed of has any chance of being fulfilled. Few people came in my life hinting that my view and subsequent world views differ wildly. But I ignored that in my naïve innocence and never gave up.
Life was moving on and so was I, love to me was joyful giving, a joyful sacrifice, trust, choosing non-materialistic above materialistic, it was about making someone smile, it was about making others happy and so I kept practicing my definition, but obviously I had some expectations, sometimes they use to get fulfilled sometimes not, hence occasionally getting hurt occasionally not. I don’t know how there came a point in life, when I felt I had nothing left to give anybody, neither tangible nor intangible. Then I realized no matter how hard I tried, I wasn’t really able to take the harm and hurt we all are causing each other in the name of love and relationships. I felt as if I was on the verge of moral, emotional, intellectual and spiritual bankruptcy, that too, unfortunately at the time when I was just about to give birth to a child. I wasn’t sure what would I teach to the child – what is life all about, what is love. It was really crashing, being skeptical about giving love to the person for whom you were suppose to be the primary care provider. I felt so embraced not feeling capable and energetic enough to give to my child being the one who always tries to give best efforts for everything.
But life took a turn and thankfully God’s glory came in, and now I feel it was the divine, the one above, who was making it all empty to fill it again. Maybe, so that I can share with you that the all-powerful God is there for all of us. Believe me, true love does exist on this earth but it’s just that to see it, you have to be it. It is the supreme father who has given me the courage to share all this. The saying ‘Spend and the god will send’ does hold true. Now, I can say I wasn’t mad I got the love that I was seeking; possibly I tasted that love in my past birth and hence, carrying its aroma I was chasing it. Now, I want to sustain it in my coming births. If you have not experienced that pure love yet, I want you to feel it now, I want you to realize the creator’s existence and see what miracles it can bring in your and your family’s life; so that you also feel an urge to carry it forward.
This New Year let us all put some efforts to make God’s world shine with God’s love. By firstly, making our inner worlds, our hearts and our homes shine with the almighty’s love as “Charity begins at home”.
True Love is God’s love. Open your third eye. Feel it, live with it, merge in it, and spread it…
To be continued….
Featured image from Unsplash