Can we have it all?

I had not written anything since so long.

On a recent afternoon I had a brainstorm for writing an article.

The sentence which illuminated my mind was “Can we have it all?

I thought we as humans are so desirous. We wish to do everything that too immaculate.

Like now if I see myself I am an avid cook. Apart from that I want to keep my home undefiled, play with my daughter, chitchat with my friends and my family, watch some movie and also want to go out seldom but still. Then I also wish to do something in my life like pursuing my career. After I recovered from delivery of the baby, I often found myself wondering on how to manage it all.

One day I sat and pondered upon it.

I wondered seriously: Do people who have or maintain it all exist on earth? And then I thought, even if there are such people, do I really want to be like them? Do I actually want to have it all? Would I be happy with it?

And if there are no such people, how can I have it all. I am not unique; I am like any other person on earth. Then to answer my questions, I imagined myself sitting in the workplace and pursuing my career and my daughter being with someone else at home.I thought I wouldn’t be happy leaving my daughter with anyone. I cannot be happy because I don’t believe I can place credence on her being with anyone for now, till she reaches a certain age that she is obliged to go out of home. I would have begrudged her care taker whoever it had been.

My mother used to tell me during my adolescent phase, that you girls will live a more baffling life, you will have to prioritize: work or family. At that time, I was heedless of her conviction, and so rebuffed it. Now, after a baby I could reminisce about the stimulating conversation I had with my mother.

To explicate clearly, I think it is plainly just a matter of not being contrite about what you chose and enjoy what comes with it.

It’s not like; I am such a great woman or too affectionate or loving mother that I have sacrificed my career for her. I have my own reasons for it.

First and foremost as a human-being, I am trying to make myself happy. I am caressing her because I have insatiable greed to be with her always. But, after she grows up, I won’t have any alibi for making to myself to not let her go away from me for at least few hours a day. I want to enjoy her companionship as a kid. I want to take her in my embrace every now and then. I want to cuddle her. I want to see her guffaw at my strange acts for whole day. I want to run behind her. I don’t want to be deprived of cherishing her childhood days.

Obviously there are times when she becomes grouchy and shrieks and irks me. At those moments I consider her father to be lucky as he doesn’t has to bear her wanton behavior whole day. But I never consider him unlucky for missing so many affectionate moments which I enjoy with her daily. This is how we humans are; taking things for granted so much.

It is incumbent on men to go out and earn the living. They cannot opt for an alternative lifestyle of being at home and taking care of the child. Even if someone is willing to opt for it, and also his spouse has no problem in going out and working, still he cannot. By virtue of being belittled by people around; the neighbors may accuse him for being carefree. No matter how gingerly he could have raised the child, which could have been far better than the care mother might have provided. Indeed, no option, no confusion for men: but, it doesn’t mean they have it all.

Secondly, I have decided being with her and taking care of her for now is of paramount importance to me. I have overcome the fear of job, career or anything else which will happen as an aftermath. I have rather deterred the plan of considering all that for now. As I want to give my best efforts for her. I felt an urge to invest in her early childhood years for her future well-being. I don’t want to give half heartedly her anything. Admittedly, on the contrary, I don’t give all my time to her when I am free, at that time I wish to do something else. If I had been working, I would have tried to be even-handed towards work and my daughter. At a time, I might have been biased towards one aspect and ended up not getting desired results in another aspect; thereby accusing the people around me without understanding that I have not given full-fledged efforts.

Thirdly, If somebody else had taken care of her, they would have cared in their own way, which may not have been acceptable to me as whole. And it is unjust to expect too much from someone who is actually doing a favor to you or helping you out.

After intruding, the answer came no I don’t want to have it all. This constant questioning elucidated me that, I rather should not wish to have it all. May be because I won’t become happy or wait a minute I won’t be happy anymore as if I see now I am happy as I am. Or maybe I am not meant to be in such a position and therefore I am not.

If I am happy doing what I do then why I am thinking all this?

As usual I am apprehensive about the future. What will happen when my daughter will grow older? Then I won’t need to make efforts to tidy up my home. She won’t have much time to spend with me, which is yet another fearful apprehension I have.

woman happy thinking about having it all
Source: Pixabay

May be after few years from now, the domain of the things I want to do will taper off and I would be able to manage it all.

 

Featured image from Pixabay.

16 thoughts on “Can we have it all?”

    1. Hello Karishma,

      Thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting. Nice to hear from you🙂

      Lots of Blessings and love,
      Priyal

    1. Hello Rutika,

      Of course, I do remember you. Its indeed a pleasure to hear from you🙂. Thanks for reading and commenting.
      Take care.

      Best wishes and Love,
      Priyal

  1. Though not in the similar way, yet I could well relate with the constant perplexing situation of why can’t I have it all.. Really we are losing one of the beautiful attribute of life that is ‘contentment’..
    Well expressed dear.. Keep going…

    1. Hey ankita,

      We all are on the same page, and losing not only the most beautiful but also the most important part of life ‘contentment’. The irony is we realize it but still we are not ready to help ourselves even in the spheres of life where we can.

      love,
      Priyal

  2. I don’t think that as a guy I can even eligible for putting my thoughts here and at the risk of sounding naive, I would love to reply to your wonderfully written post here. First and foremost of all, I do not believe that there exist anything as all and if it is achievable at all. I myself am struggling in balancing a personal life along with a professional career and this is when I am a bachelor living away from my family. I believe that instead of having all in life one should look for balance (Can’t even think how I am going to do when I’ll have a family). Consistently worrying about the future doesn’t help, but neither does not planning for it at all. One must not forgo all the pleasures of present for the ones in future nor the vice versa. Without much indulging myself into philosophy, what I believe is that one should consistently walk on the path to future while making the best of the pleasures the journey has to offer.

    1. Hello Varun,

      First of all thanks for stopping by, reading and commenting.
      There exists no eligibility criteria for sharing thoughts. As you have rightly understood the fact that its all about balancing personal and professional life, I believe you will manage it well. Its hard when we conceive our own perfect fantasy world without a thought process.

  3. My child is hardly 1 year old and thought of leaving her in a day care or with a caretaker gives me goosebumps. It’s true we can’t have it all. So be happy with whatever we have in our plate today instead of fussing or regretting over what we could have 😊

  4. Hey priyal after reading your blog I am really pondering how my mom might be feeling now without me. It’s being five months to me in US staking away fRon her. She also never thought of allowing me to go far from her. But when it came to my career, she has to overcome her affectionate motherly feelings. After all, it’s human nature we have to change our thoughts and feelings according to changing circumstances. Its always better to embrace changes happily, it’s a part of our life.

    1. Hi Monika,

      Thanks for reading and sharing your feelings.Very correctly said “Its always better to embrace changes happily, it’s a part of our life.”

  5. Everyone in this world wants to have it all. “Putting all your fingers in the pie.” I agree with your point that we should prioritize things. And spending time with your own child is a mother’s dilemma. I am 25 years now, in US and I know my mother, she still wants to be with me but she can’t she’s 8000 miles away. So I think it’s a real hard thing for a women to be away from her child.

    1. Hello Prerit,

      Yep its all about prioritizing. Thanks for stopping by and giving it a thought and commenting.

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